1.
Dressing like a professional runner is
absolutely crucial. Headband? Check. Running leggings with ultra high vis speed
lines? Check. Even if you are sweating and out of breath, professional running
gear will convince everyone around you that you are, in fact, a professional
runner. (Perhaps just on somewhat of an off day.)
2.
Running on a treadmill is not like running on
concrete. I repeat. Running on a
treadmill is not like running on
concrete. Running on a treadmill is like bouncing on air. Running on concrete
is like bouncing on, well, concrete. Ouch.
3.
Make sure that you listen to highly motivating
gym music, with suitably motivating running related lyrics. My playlist
favourites include, ‘Alive’, ‘Press on’ and ‘I Will Survive’.
4.
A banana with peanut butter is the best pre-run
snack ever.
5.
Don’t be deterred by the guy on the treadmill next
to you who’s doing a super-fast speed run – and don’t try and secretly race him
either.
6.
A run is the perfect time to think of solutions
for homelessness, write your first novel, become a saxophone improvisation goddess
and ponder the various options you have for dinner. Fact.
7.
Don’t be embarrassed by your gym viewing
material. So what if you’re the only person watching re-runs of Bake Off, or
various NT Wright sermons? Intellectual and material food are important – and
what better time to learn how to bake pastry, or understand the kingdom of God
than amongst weight lifting Essex men?
8.
Sometimes dogs will try and run with you as you
pass them. Do not be distracted by your new fluffy companion. He may be cute,
but he will only slow you down.
9.
Never be deceived by your downhill run – it is
always a lie.
10.
Enjoy! Look around – breathe deeply – get lost
in thought, it’s worth it!
